The purpose of this paper will be to analyze my particular personality profile in relation to other prominent personalities. The intention of this assessment will be done in a form and fashion that will prepare me to be able to communicate positively. Petersen (2015) explains that “underneath the words are attitudes and ways of treating people that make a difference” (p. 165).
Question #1: Guiding Purpose Statement
Nichols (2017) describes differing approaches to relationships based upon the security of a person’s self-image. It is only with a secure self-image that a person can enter a relationship that seeks to invest or build up the other person. A secure self-image is found through understanding more of the masterpiece that God is developing in me, “to be conformed to the image of [God’s] son” (Rom. 8:31). In sum, my current GPS draft follows: Seeking to be an example of Christ, I am committed to become an attentive friend. In some instances with stronger personalities, I may need to ratchet up attentiveness to assertiveness.
Question #2: DISC Description
After completing the Uniquely You DISC assessment (2018), I received a report of a C/I/S personality type. This assessment proved to be significantly accurate as I read through the report describing my tendencies in different roles, situations and views. Knowing the accuracy of this report in determining my tendencies enables me to more fully embrace and trust the system’s ability to analyze other people. The below reflect my takeaways on how my personality type can find common ground with the four major personality types.
Question 3: DISC Style Alignment
Active/Task-oriented “D”
Relating to a “D” personality type when I am in a leadership position will require me to be more directing than I am comfortable with. The “D” personality responds best to a direct challenge rather than my tendency to allow people under my leadership to pick and choose what they would like to accomplish. My personality profile will work well with the “D” who is in leadership. I tend to do what I am told, and the “D” likes to tell people what to do. I will need to be more assertive with the “D”. If I am not mindful, I will be pushed around by the “D” personality. I need to strive to “increase [my] strength to resist those who want to control [me]. Learn how to say ‘no’ even when people may be right but are threatening [me] in wrong ways” (Uniquely You Report, 2018, p. 9). I must be aware of my own confidence levels as I tend to feel intimidated by the strong will “D” personality. I will need to focus greatly on my posture. As Peterson (2015) puts it, “Straighten up physically and grow into it emotionally” (p. 43).
Active/People-oriented “I”
The “I” personality likes to connect to people through stories. One of the greatest ways that I can find common ground with an “I” personality is by focusing more on the stories that they share in response to what I am saying. I can remain open to understanding the “I” personality even when they express emotionally charged or exaggerated responses. If I am in a leadership position over an “I” or in a counseling situation with an “I”, I will be intentional to give praise and recognition for their accomplishments (Carbonell, 2008).
Passive/People-oriented “S”
To obtain a relationship that is meaningful and uplifting to the “S” personality, I must express my belief in their value and abilities without being pushy (Carbonell, 2008). I must be ever aware and cautious that I can “abuse people’s trust in [me] by taking advantage of those who can be manipulated” (Uniquely You Report, 2018, p. 9). The “S” personality is more sensitive and submissive. For me to relate positively requires that my more extraverted nature be kept within check, so I do not overwhelm and overpower the “S”. As a person who seeks to encourage and inspire, I must learn to do so in a way that does not put the “S” on the spot to speak in front of a group. Careful attention must be paid to encourage and recognize the “S” as they often go unnoticed (Carbonell, 2008).
Passive/Task-oriented “C”
The “C” personality is one in which I noticeably struggle to positively engage. In my former occupation I was a team leader in an insurance underwriting department. One of the underwriters that I oversaw was a strong “C” personality. The task often took precedence over her colleague relationships which gave many of her coworkers the feeling that she was angry and unapproachable. I have learned and continue to find common ground in my and the “C” personality’s mutual desire for compliance to truth. I will seek to build up the “C” personality by acknowledging and appreciating the dedication to accuracy. My desire for relationship and the “C” personality’s need to consider relationships more can be mutually beneficial as I can achieve relationship while helping the “C” to pursue relationship in the midst of tasks (Carbonell, 2008).
To find common ground with a variety of people requires me to be a human chameleon. Like a chameleon, I am changing based upon the environment, but I am not changing who I am. I look forward to the opportunities to build others up through meaningful relationships.
Question #3: Care-Seeker Connection
Brody, age 15, is the second son of Bruce and Cindy. Brody is described as someone who “relies heavily on those closest to him for approval or acceptance” (Rice, 2018, p. 5). Brody resembles a strong “S” personality type. He receives a lot of his confidence and self-worth from the close relationship, encouragement and support that he receives from his family, primarily his mother and sister. Brody relates well with those who spend time taking interest and supporting him in his interests and abilities. He does not do well with relationships where the other person is overbearing and demanding.
When seeking to counsel or help Brody, it will be important that I avoid Petersen’s (2015) ninth common communication trap, fixing it. Fixing it is described as taking away confidence from the talker. With Brody’s personality profile, such a blow to his confidence would seriously encumber our counselor-counselee relationship. Instead of seeking to solve Brody’s problem, I will be intentional to alternate feelings and thoughts in my responses to him. By asking responsive questions that switch his brain from feeling to thought and back again, I will be appropriately engaged to help Brody own his problem and he will be able to avoid the traps of depression and anger. This is supported by taking into consideration that the counselee is always changing. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecc. 3:1, The English Standard Version). With this in mind, it will help me to alternate Brody’s feelings and thoughts to ensure that he is never dwelling to long in a negative state of anger or depression. In so doing, this will help me focus on how the change in Brody will occur more than spending time and effort trying to figure out when the change will occur (Kollar, 2011).
I must seek to be supportive and encouraging with Brody throughout the counseling process by emitting a “raised tone of voice, excited expressions, and nonverbal positive gestures” (Kollar, 2011, p. 97). He needs to be affirmed and not pushed beyond his comfort publicly. I will work hard at leaving teeth marks on my tongue so that I do not dominate him or take charge of his problem. By allowing Brody to speak and express his thoughts and feelings, I will be able to help him change with a solution-focused approach.
Question #4: Mentor Connection
Based upon my mentor’s answer to the Interview Worksheet (2018) and Mentor DISC Assessment (2018) I will shift my relational style to be more compatible with their S/D personality type. My mentor revealed that one of my weaknesses is self-doubt. They feel that my self-doubt lessens my willingness to use my strengths and abilities to their fullest potential resulting in a less effective ministry than could be realized. Another area that my mentor points out that I need improvement in is listening. I need to fight the urge to think of my answer, response and/or story while my mentor is speaking and focus on what they are saying (Jantz, 2018). This can be achieved by following Petersen’s (2015) technique #2 and repeat what the speaker is saying to reassure them that I am listening and reassure myself of what I am hearing. My mentor has a unique personality profile when compared to my own. I tend to allow “those who are willfully stronger to intimidate [me]” (Uniquely You Report, 2018, p. 8). My mentor’s “D” personality reflects a very strong will; however, their “S” personality reflects humble submission. I tend to recognize the strong will and feel intimidated. This results in me seeking to give up leadership and authority to them when their “S” personality really wants me to be the vocal leader.
Conclusion
There are limitless combinations of personalities that I will encounter in my ministry career and in life. A better understanding of how to interpret a person’s disposition, behavior and interactions with others will give me insight as to how I can best communicate with them in a way that is mutually beneficial. Being equipped in this manner, I can be used more fully by God to further His kingdom through healthy communication and relationships. Whether it is office relationships, neighbors, friends, family or counselees, the need to understand the other person to effectively communicate and encourage is central.
A “So What of it All?!” Gaining a better understanding of who I am, I am more aware of my strengths and weaknesses in relating to others in a way that will build others up. Being aware of the variety of personalities I will encounter allows me to be more fluid with my own personality when I remember that “God’s intention for us becomes the formative truth regarding personality development, not primarily our understanding and perception of ourselves” (Kollar, 2011, 50). I can find comfort and security in my self-image knowing that God’s intention is shaping me more into the image of Jesus Christ.
References
Carbonell, M. (n.d.). “Uniquely You DISC Assessment. Retrieved from https://uniquelyyou.org/
Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.
Harris, G., & Eikenberry, K. (n.d.). A Free DISC Personality Test: Gain Insights to Build Better, Stronger, More Fulfilling Relationships. Retrieved from https://discpersonalitytesting.com/free-disc-test/
Jantz, E. L. (2018). Mentor’s 360° Interview Worksheet.
Kollar, C. A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling: An effective short-term approach for getting people back on track (updated and exp. ed.). Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.
Nichols, K. (2017). Masterpiece: Seeing yourself as God’s work of art changes everything. Lynchburg, VA.: Liberty University Press.
Petersen, J. (2015). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships (second ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications.
Rice, D. (2018). A case study on crossroads: A story of forgiveness. Lynchburg, VA.: Liberty University.
APPENDIX
Figure 1: This Is Expected of Me
Figure 2: This Is Me